6.05.2014

Quotes - Lying

Quotes - Wild

I’d spent the past six months imagining this moment, but now that it was here it seemed less vivid than it had in my imaginings, as if I were in a dream, my every thought liquid slow, propelled by will rather than instinct.

each day was an eternity, one stacked up on the other, a cold clarity inside of a deep haze

Your feelings are not facts. You feel terrible but that doesnt mean you are terrible. You feel empty, but that doesnt mean you are empty. Feel your feelings and let them go.

I am asking you to enter the confusion with me, to gve up the ground with me, because sometimes that frightening floaty place is really the truest of all.

...the cellular phenomenon called consciousness is so much more than a blip of energy; it’s a blue light, a flame we can feel but cannot find; it’s mystery and love.

Secretly each and every one of us longs to fall, and knows in a deep wise place in our brains that surrender is the means by which we gain, not lose, our lives. We know this, and that is why we have bad backs and pulled necks and throbbing pain between our shoulder blades. We want to go down, and it hurts to fight the force of gravity...
William James talks about two kinds of will. Will A and Will B, I call it. Will A is what we all learn, the hold your head high, stuff it down, swallow your sobs, work hard kind of will. Will B, while it seems a slacker thing, is actually harder to have. It’s a willingness instead of a willfulness, an ability to take life on life’s terms as opposed to putting up a big fight. It’s about being bendable, not brittle, a person who is brave enough to try to ride the waves instead of trying to stop them. Will B is what you need in order to learn to fall. It’s the kind of will my mother never taught me, and yours probably never taught you either. It’s a secret greater than sex; it’s a spiritual thing. Will B is not passive. It means an active acceptance, a say yes, and you have to have a voice and courage if you want to learn it. If you know will be you know your life. You know what my mother never learned. That it is only by entering emptiness and ugliness, not by covering it up with feathers and sprays, that you find a balance so true, no one can take it away.

Like any good book it did not teach me something new, but drew out the wisdom that was already there, inside me.

Ride the wave, harness the energy of your opponent.

I stood there with the other mourners and tried to look sad, but i wasnt sad. I was nothing.

The brain is essential to life - I want my brain to act calmly and normally - I will do everything i can to help my brain act calmly and normally

Take a deep breath and let yourself go.

...she touched my head gently now, like it was hot, like it was cold, like it was warm, like it was whatever she was not, a wild and totally true world in there, a place she had forsaken for artifice, etiquette, marriage, mediocre love, and which I had returned to her.

It hurts and you have to push yourself. You have to push yourself first to go out in the cold, and then to walk over a place where, right beneath, sharks and whales are waiting for you, and then to leap against your better judgment, when your whole self is longing just to nap.

I don't like it he said but you could tell, anyone could tell, he didn't know how to stand up to her. I hate to say it. Its so politically incorrect, but i think if he'd been brutish, my father, she may have learned to love him.

Somewhere in the world, if you pressed the right keys, or the right combination of keys, there would be thunder and Mozart, and more; there would be all you’d craved but been too clenched to take... If you knew the right chords, but she did not.

The smells live, and though doctors claim they are purely physiological phenomena, without mental meaning, I cannot help but think the smells have significance; we smell what we want, or cannot allow ourselves to want; we smell our own stink, we smell our sin, we smell the tang of an unspoken hope.