actually, its a big fucking world

This girl Alex that i met at jfk. We split a cab into manhattan but she lives in LA. She's an Australian poet and likes to run in Topanga canyon. She just finished a 250 page manuscript for a poem about progress. She wore a black ball cap and saucony shoes.

This guy Rob is a special operations forces team leader in Serbia, Croatia, and Bosnia. He always says, "yea man its too easy". Like, "hey rob can we get a hui to fly us out to the country side and drop off water filters to a school?" "Yea man its too easy." And just like that it gets done.

This girl Juliet that i met on a plane from Heathrow to LA. Calls herself a cloud in the sky. Has a tatoo that means 'know yourself' on her side, one that means 'remember' on her wrist, and her mothers initials behind her ear. Says the worst thing that can happen to her already did when her mom died. So everything else is vanilla. Says you gotta take all the ashes of your burned down self and make something new.

This guy Jon Rose who traveled 500,000 miles last year doing clean water missions all over the world. He wants to solve the world water crises. Doesnt see why any child should suffer from basic water borne illness when solutions exist that can eliminate it.

This 22 year old girl Molly from Texas who lives and takes care of an orphanage in the Liberian countryside below mt barclay. She has the outline of Africa tattoo'd on her wrist. Wants to take the time to invest in the lives of the people and truly make a difference. She's got the fire, the hunger, the drive.

This guy Aamyon who grew up in Hawaii. Has American Indian heritage. Believes that his soul animal is a hawk. His dad fed him raw aloe cactus and coconut oil as a kid. He built his house out of hemp-crete and bamboo. Grows all his fresh produce in his backyard.


Quotes - Lying

Quotes - Wild

I’d spent the past six months imagining this moment, but now that it was here it seemed less vivid than it had in my imaginings, as if I were in a dream, my every thought liquid slow, propelled by will rather than instinct.

each day was an eternity, one stacked up on the other, a cold clarity inside of a deep haze

Your feelings are not facts. You feel terrible but that doesnt mean you are terrible. You feel empty, but that doesnt mean you are empty. Feel your feelings and let them go.

I am asking you to enter the confusion with me, to gve up the ground with me, because sometimes that frightening floaty place is really the truest of all.

...the cellular phenomenon called consciousness is so much more than a blip of energy; it’s a blue light, a flame we can feel but cannot find; it’s mystery and love.

Secretly each and every one of us longs to fall, and knows in a deep wise place in our brains that surrender is the means by which we gain, not lose, our lives. We know this, and that is why we have bad backs and pulled necks and throbbing pain between our shoulder blades. We want to go down, and it hurts to fight the force of gravity...
William James talks about two kinds of will. Will A and Will B, I call it. Will A is what we all learn, the hold your head high, stuff it down, swallow your sobs, work hard kind of will. Will B, while it seems a slacker thing, is actually harder to have. It’s a willingness instead of a willfulness, an ability to take life on life’s terms as opposed to putting up a big fight. It’s about being bendable, not brittle, a person who is brave enough to try to ride the waves instead of trying to stop them. Will B is what you need in order to learn to fall. It’s the kind of will my mother never taught me, and yours probably never taught you either. It’s a secret greater than sex; it’s a spiritual thing. Will B is not passive. It means an active acceptance, a say yes, and you have to have a voice and courage if you want to learn it. If you know will be you know your life. You know what my mother never learned. That it is only by entering emptiness and ugliness, not by covering it up with feathers and sprays, that you find a balance so true, no one can take it away.

Like any good book it did not teach me something new, but drew out the wisdom that was already there, inside me.

Ride the wave, harness the energy of your opponent.

I stood there with the other mourners and tried to look sad, but i wasnt sad. I was nothing.

The brain is essential to life - I want my brain to act calmly and normally - I will do everything i can to help my brain act calmly and normally

Take a deep breath and let yourself go.

...she touched my head gently now, like it was hot, like it was cold, like it was warm, like it was whatever she was not, a wild and totally true world in there, a place she had forsaken for artifice, etiquette, marriage, mediocre love, and which I had returned to her.

It hurts and you have to push yourself. You have to push yourself first to go out in the cold, and then to walk over a place where, right beneath, sharks and whales are waiting for you, and then to leap against your better judgment, when your whole self is longing just to nap.

I don't like it he said but you could tell, anyone could tell, he didn't know how to stand up to her. I hate to say it. Its so politically incorrect, but i think if he'd been brutish, my father, she may have learned to love him.

Somewhere in the world, if you pressed the right keys, or the right combination of keys, there would be thunder and Mozart, and more; there would be all you’d craved but been too clenched to take... If you knew the right chords, but she did not.

The smells live, and though doctors claim they are purely physiological phenomena, without mental meaning, I cannot help but think the smells have significance; we smell what we want, or cannot allow ourselves to want; we smell our own stink, we smell our sin, we smell the tang of an unspoken hope.

Take to the skies

Nairobi. It was there, that feeling i hadn't had in days or maybe years, i couldn't remember which, as i sat on a plane to somewhere else. France. A scent, a hue, a scratch on your fingertip. Tanzania. an avalanche of chemical sensations, the cocktail of a feeling. London. she sat down next to me and splashed water on my face. Morocco. a cloud in the sky. Afghanistan. Instant crushing panic. Bosnia. Chasing stars. Brazil. A reckless engagement. North Korea If you squeeze it'll hurt. Liberia. A view from the top and the edge and the center of it all. Mexico. Another distant memory, nothing more.

- Posted from the Road


Places ive been

i thought i had been a lot of places till i realized there are 196 countries...

Czech Rep.

South Africa

North Korea