sitting quietly doing nothing...

I panic. Not intentionally, it just happens. On reflection I think that I am afraid I will forget to do something important. That some item on my list of the lists I'm going to make will be ignored or forgotten altogether! Or that some email, or message, or phone call will go unanswered. Ultimately maybe I'm afraid that stopping is dying, and to continue answering every beckoning task will be the end! After a few minutes in silence the urgency fades and soon I am just looking at a bee which is steadily making it's way around the blossoms. 'Busy as a bee' has come to be an admirable attribute today. In wanted ads they ask for 'ability to multitask' or 'ability to work in a fast paced environment'. We're encouraged to constantly check our multiple technologies, while overworking our short term memory on multiple tasks and projects both personal, and job related. While watching this bee in a calm state however I'm more transfixed by it's focus. Yes it seems to be in a slight hurry, but it is not working on more than one task at a time. Vigorously focused it seems almost relaxed going about it's busy-ness. Soon I realize that having this quiet moment each day allows my brain to be clearer, not constantly distracted or looking for the next productive thing I can accomplish to stay on top of it all. Sometimes, instead of watching tv while I eat (which causes me to gulp down large bites of food and then feel like I didn't eat anything when my stomach tells me I'm stuffed) if I eat in silence I am aware of the food I am consuming. I think about it and it leaves me very satisfied. I think about the taste and enjoy it more. I chew each bite completely. I notice that the sun is setting and I start to feel physically that the day is winding up. Most importantly, after these brief periods of 'stillness' I find that the world is still here and I am still alive. The calmness is priceless, and it doesn't cost anything.