I still imagine sometimes that my body is violently vaporized into a light red mist. Although i don't desire it beyond this dramatic impulse. It seemed like when I woke up in the hospital 1 year ago that I had died to a lot of things that weren't working in my life. I realized after being held for 3 days against my will that I have so much freedom. And everyday I waste it on habits that I abhor and regrets that are fruitless. I came out of that place with a fresh mind to chase my potential and design my own future creatively. I saw more clearly than ever before that all I needed was a reason a purpose a passion a goal... A love. To find a tangible love that i can give everything to. either live for it completely or die and be at peace. But don't suffer through life wading in all the bullshit you wish you could get away from and don't have the will power to do so. become your love.
for me, love is running. It is both the discipline and the reward. It affects my entire life. It has the power to make me feel whole again. And sometimes when I run on a cool day through the forest I feel that I am a light red mist floating over the earth.
- Posted from the Road